Lynne Cheney, the vice president’s wife (who, strangely enough, authored a [lesbian Western novel](http://www.whitehouse.org/administration/sisters.asp)) likes to recount the story of how she and Dick first met at a Wyoming dance in the 1950’s and, in order to preserve Lynne’s modesty as well as his own self-respect, Dick refused to do The Twist on the dance floor. The Twist, it seems, was all the rage in Wyoming in the 50’s, but Dick was having nothing of it.

This story produced a lot of good-natured guffaws from the audience when I watched it told at the last Republican national convention. But, sitting at home, I couldn’t help thinking, “You fucking bastard, Dick Cheney, why won’t you twist?!” I pictured a young Dick, arms folded, tight-lipped, staring straight ahead while a crestfallen Lynne, trying to make the most of bad situation, stood by Dick’s side. Dick, so controlling of his own self-image and distrustful of “race music,” sat it out.

For me, Dick Cheney not twisting represents everything that’s wrong with the moneyed right wing, a portrait of elitism in miniature. Here is Dick, so careful of his public persona, so domineering, so dogmatic and intent on maintaining order, so skeptical of sensual pleasure, unwilling to mix it up with the lower classes, sneering from the bench of some Wyoming auditorium. It probably took a lot not to twist back then. He had to summon up a lot of evil power.

Of course, nowadays he’s tricking the American public into going to war and pushing for torture and such so I guess not twisting isn’t so bad.

But still…

This entry was posted on Friday, December 16th, 2005 at 9:39 pm and is filed under Dudes with Attitudes.