Archive for April, 2006

My Avatar (and Shooting Locations)

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

I don’t have an avatar. People do. It’s de rigueur for folks who make frequent posts on message boards, but the only message boards I’ve ever posted on are avatar-free.

I used to hate avatars (not the incarnation of Hindu deities—they’re fine); I still hate the ones that move. But now I’ve grown to accept the beauty of having an image that represents yourself, kind of like your dæmon in the Dark Materials books.

This would be my avatar:

avatarcherries2.jpg

Yes, it looks like testicles.

Also, my TV show placed third at the channel 102 screening! So I’m scrambling to find a location for the next episode…

Does anyone know a swank looking place like a hotel lobby or a wood-paneled club or a chic restaurant where I could shoot for a couple of hours for free on May 6th or 7th?

Sexual Intercourse: American Style

Saturday, April 22nd, 2006

So I have something to plug.

A short film I produced for Channel 102 called “Sexual Intercourse: American Style” is being screened on Monday night at 8:00 and 9:30 at the Magnet Theater.

If you’re not familiar with Channel 102, it’s a monthly competition in which 5 minute “TV shows” are screened in front of a live audience. The shows are then voted on by the audience and the top scoring shows go on to make another episode for next month’s competition.

Channel 102 is the sister station of Channel 101 (located in LA) which is wildly popular with college boys.

I hope you can all come! And don’t be afraid to vote for my show, even if you don’t really like it! Contact the Magnet Theatre for reservations.

Art Blogging

Tuesday, April 18th, 2006

It would take a huge force of effort for me to be an art-blogger. I walk around Chelsea and think, “maybe I’ll write about so-and-so’s show” and then I’ll get back home and think, “eh, why bother?” Even with my meager four-class-a-week teaching job, the idea of finding time to say something coherent and interesting about a work of art seems daunting. I mean, maybe if I were getting paid…

An artwork that I’ve been meaning to write about is a piece now on view (I think) in MoMA’s contemporary collection: Janet Cardiff’s A Reworking of Spem in Alium by Thomas Tallis. This is a “Sound Piece.” “Sound Piece” usually means walking into a room and setting off motion detectors that play creepy, atmospheric music and sounds of people whispering, but in this case it means something good.

You walk into a large room and arranged in a huge circle are 40 speakers on stands about the height of your head. It looks like some strange ritual, like you’ve happened upon a coven of speaker-people.

If you happen to walk in at the beginning of the piece all you hear is silence. As you walk up to the speakers you hear voices, the voices of people muttering, having little conversations, coughing— just general ambient sound. You realize that every speaker is playing an individual human voice and you think, “that’s pretty cool, I guess.”

And then slowly all the speakers start singing and it’s amazing.

What they’re singing is a forty-part choral piece written in the Renaissance by the English composer, Thomas Tallis—forty unique parts! Each voice is emanating from its own individual speaker. All the parts meld into this incredible wash, you feel enveloped. Sometimes, just the tenors are singing and then, all of a sudden, the sopranos will join in and then all 40 speakers are “singing” at the top of their lungs and feel a type of religious ecstasy.

What’s great about Cardiff’s piece is that you can walk around the circle of speakers and put your ear up to each one and hear a single, isolated voice. You begin to understand how the work, Spem in Alium, is constructed, how stunningly complicated it is. When you step into the center of the circle, it’s an ethereal wash of sound, when you step up to a single speaker, it’s an isolated voice, sometimes singing something very simple-sounding. Often, you step up to a speaker, and it’s not singing at all—it’s resting. It’s an experience you would never have if you went to a concert of the same work or bought the CD.

Basically, all Early Music is fantastic. At one point, I bought a bunch of early choral music and it’s all great, so Cardiff is basically just tweaking a work of art that’s already amazing. But she’s tweaking it in a very ingenious way. So it’s worth a listen.

A New Job

Thursday, April 13th, 2006

Because of my poverty, I took on a job as an art mover a couple days ago and I can already easily see myself getting fired.

It’s not the work; the work is a snap; you drive a big truck around, you box-up high-end art, you move it someplace else—that’s the job. You don’t even need to be all that strong because you’re putting everything heavy on dollies.

But with the job comes a need for a certain working-class-dude ethos that I don’t possess. It seems, I don’t carry myself in the right way—I don’t yell at the cars when I should; I don’t shut my mouth when I should. I really stick out and I think the dudes hate me. They all look like pretty tough guys, like they could take a punch to the gut pretty well.

Guys in these jobs hold really simple information that you don’t know over you like you’re a dipshit. Something that would take two and a half seconds to learn—say, where the trash goes—if you don’t know it, you’re a dipshit. Also, there are always a lot of tight-ass rules that are held sacred; like don’t ever ask another guy for his box-cutter—you take your own box-cutter out of the toolbox and hold onto it all day, asshole. Right, got it.

Also, the boss will ask me if my dad was in Vietnam an I’ll say, “no, I think he got out on a college deferment” and I’ll immediately know I’ve made some cultural faux pas.

So I’m going to get fired or quit. It’s just a matter of time.

I recently read “An End to Suffering” by Pankaj Mishra and was very taken with Buddhist Teachings and feel as though I could embrace Buddhism but it’s difficult to write about so I will post another New Yorker Cartoon.

Thursday, April 6th, 2006

A11382.jpg

“We’re firm believers in the ‘Escher Method’ here, Ms. Schwartz.”

or less hacky…

“Who Farted?”

I’m just waiting for them to change the one-dollar bill.

Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

It reveals a serious design-laziness on the part of the government that they refuse to change the look of the one-dollar bill to match the rest.

I don’t care how much it costs, or if it’s unnecessary—change the fucking one-dollar bill! It can’t cost half as much as us spending 30 seconds in Iraq. You went from the hundred to the fifty to the twenty to the five and then you just bypassed the one and started revising the bills all over again. Christ!