Pepperidge Farm English Muffins Remarkably Similar to Pepperidge Farm Hamburger Buns.
October 3rd, 2006Popped into the local bodega today and bought a package of Pepperidge Farm brand English Muffins. For all intents and purposes, they are Pepperidge Farm Hamburger Buns with cornmeal adhered to the underside.
English Muffins, I believe, are an American invention, based on the English model of the Crumpet. The people at Thomas’ create the benchmark English Muffin, a dense disk that must be carefully split with a knife to reveal the famed nooks and the less famous crannies.
Any fool can rig up a hamburger bun machine to spit out faux English Muffins. This is what the scholars are thinking of when they speak of “Late Capitalism”—buns dressed up as muffins.
After a nearly two-week absence, this is what choose to talk about.
October 4th, 2006 at 2:31 am
On a lateral topic shift, I’m thinking of making scones tomorrow… what do you think, Mitch?
October 4th, 2006 at 11:13 am
“Nooks and Crannies” would be a fine episode of Sexual Intercourse American Style.
It could also be an entirely new series.
October 4th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
andy rooney, what have you done with mitch?
October 6th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
wow- i just read that again, but imagined Andy Rooney’s voice. try it.
October 10th, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Jesus. What’s the matter with you? You split them with a knife? No, no, no! That way, you chop off the peaks of the crannies and they tumble into the nooks. Then you put it in the toaster and the cranny peaks fall off. Christ. What is wrong with you? You use your fingers (carefully washed–”you might have touched a cat, who knows?”) to gently work around the muffin, pulling it apart at the edge. Once the edge is separated all the way around, you–again, gently–pull the centers apart. Now you have no straight edges and severed cranny peaks, but a lovely landscape of wholesome deliciousness.
October 13th, 2006 at 1:20 pm
A fork works nicely as well, used a la Doc’s finger method.
October 13th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
i don’t think mitch really cuts through his muffins with a knife. i think he mispoke. he may make an initial incision with a knife, and then prise the muffin halves apart with his fingers.
October 15th, 2006 at 1:23 am
yes, that’s right. There was never a knife. I guess it just flowed nicely in that sentence. Or perhaps i wasn’t thinking.
October 16th, 2006 at 6:00 pm
Mitch, the crumpet is totally different from the English muffin. The English have English muffins as well, the only difference is that in England they just call them “muffins.”
My mean grandmother used to cut english muffins with a knife. It was one of the many ways that she was a mean, mean woman.
October 18th, 2006 at 6:51 pm
i beleive that the first reference to a “muffin” is found in Jane Austen’s “Emma” where they “hand round the muffin” at a gathering. Which suggests it was different- at least, larger- than it is today.
I suppose that wasn’t directly relevant. I guess I am curious about that mother of all muffins.
October 20th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
I was told by a former English roomate (and consumer of English Muffins) that there was no such thing as the EM on the Brittish Isles, but perhaps he was misinformed.