As I write this, I am wired on tea. I’ve switched from coffee to tea because I exhausted my coffee supply and am too lazy to buy more. So tea it is. I thought tea had less caffeine—what gives? I feel very jittery.

Last week YouTube took down my video of “Mister Glasses,” episode # 5. They sent me a very stern warning via email—if I violate their rules of conduct once more, I’m out. Glancing at the list of most-watched videos on YouTube on any given day, you will notice that it’s composed primarily of women stripping down to their underwear and shaking their breasts—the type of soft-core porn that fills the masturbatory indexes of 14-year-old boys everywhere.

My video had a similar theme. It briefly showed a small, black-and-white photo of not-very-sexy bare breasts for about half a second in the service of a joke. Hot stuff. You can still watch it on the FunnyorDie site:

And if your appetite for comedy videos is still not sated, please watch the new episode of “Welcome to my Study” (on YouTube.) Written by and starring me, directed and edited by Dyna Moe, photographed by Bill Buckendorf:

“Swingtown,” the period drama from CBS, premiers in 2 days and the reviews are decidedly…mixed. Which is a shame because I have a lot invested in the “swinging couples” genre of TV shows.

“Swingtown” was created by Mike “The O.C.” Kelly and follows the adventures of an attractive couple that leaves their straight-laced friends behind, moving to an affluent suburb and taking up swinging and drugs.

Bloggy readers, you may remember I too had a show about swinging couples living in an affluent suburb. “Sexual Intercourse: American Style” premiered on the prestigious internet in 2006 and was seen and enjoyed by literally thousands of people. So don’t get so smug, CBS, ‘cause I got there first.

Actually, I’m a little nervous, because I just sent off “Sexual Intercourse: American Style” for consideration in the New York Television Festival, and I imagine the judges thinking, “why the hell did someone submit a ‘Swingtown’ parody?”

Oh well. For those who are fans of the show, I recently uploaded some outtakes of Curtis Gwinn and Dyna Moe from episode 5. Enjoy:

The latest time-wasting activity I’ve discovered (as all the money in my bank account slowly drains away) is to look at all of the search queries that resulted in hits to this website. The best so far has been the search on Google India for “dixcy underwear” which I noticed last night.

I was actually familiar with Dixcy Underwear having learned about this Indian company from my friend Christina who herself had done a search of her unusual last name (which is “Dixcy” not “Dixcy Underwear”).

I picture a struggling Indian businessman, hunched over his computer in Tamilnadu, searching hopefully for his company’s name only to find my ridiculous blog besting his business in the battle for internet dominance.

And so I’ve decided to link to their site (perhaps temporarily) in order to drive some business over to the good people at Dixcy Textiles Pvt. Ltd.

You will notice that in typical Indian fashion, the Dixcy people have arranged their underwear according to a strict Caste System.

Went to Century 21 today. Bought socks and underwear.